When we first meet someone, we are looking for that spark, that chemistry, that connection that turns into incredible sex, cuddling all night, cute texts and phone calls that go “I miss you,” “I miss you more cutie,” blah.
We also spend a lot of time trying to find out about a person. What they do for a living, what they watch on TV, their career goals. Often times, however, the most important question there is, is often overlooked. It’s not really thought of until after the first few weeks of solicitousness and then it is too late, we are hooked and our entire life is fucked because now we can’t escape our feelings over what we “believe” is trivial, even though it is not; it so is not!
Not only do I feel that this is probably the most important question you could ever ask someone, it’s probably why there is a divorce rate of 55%.
The questions is – What is your thermostat set at?
Let’s say you are a 66 to 67 and they are a 74. Knowing that someone likes to live on the surface of the sun is critical info!
If you are a 66 to 67 and your girlfriend hates kids, is a vegan, killed her last boyfriend, kicks homeless people, hates sports, likes to sleep 12 hours a day, and has a super high-pitched annoying laugh, SURE, that could be hard to deal with, but if she is also a 66 to 67, at least you are living in a properly cooled house.
And you could be dating the sweetest woman in the world who is romantic, loves your favorite shows, helps sick kids, has a great laugh, but she likes the thermostat set at 74. You will have to live in a steam room! You could never be happy.
Sure, you could compromise, but you only have so much wiggle room, as in 68 max. And then there is the fact that she will always be cold, everywhere. It is all you will hear. She too will never be happy.
And that is why you will get a divorce. You think it’s because she cheated on you or that you drifted apart, but in reality it was really about neither of you being happy with the temperature in the house. Love comes and goes, but temperature stays.