Bags Of Chips Are Lying, Manipulative, @[email protected]

Look, I love chips more than 99.999999% of the people I come across in daily life. They are salty goodness that express magic when they are chomped on and your ears associate that crunch sound with your first born or your wedding day (before it all turned to shit and you got a divorce). Chips are like getting hugs from panda bears.

I want to be clear when saying that I find faults with chip manufacturers NOT the chips themselves. Because people who dislike chips should be sent to a mental health facility in Antarctica for further evaluation.

The major issue lies with size matters people! How many times do you get a bag of chips, open them and it is filled mostly with air? Yes….. Like women who wear push-up bras/padding or men who wear socks in their pants, when you open the package and there is significantly less happening than before the unopened package was exposed. Calm down, this is just an example. I will care way more about your punctuality and how annoying your laugh is versus your body parts. Push away. I’m a romantic after all…

I mean, you bring home a large bag of chips, and it’s only 1/3 full. That totally sucks!

Oh, this small bag of chips is only 220 calories!?!?!?!? AWESOME!!!!!!! Thank you for making that clear on the front of the package! I have to admit, I am so happy to be able to eat those chips, but not feel guilty afterward. I am going to buy these every time! WAIT! WTF?!?!? There were three servings??????? The bag was NOT large and it said “only 220 calories!”

Speaking of serving sizes, let’s analyze this shit. 10 chips is 140 calories and that is 1 serving? I mean is this for a five year old? Please let’s be real here. You can’t eat just one. They are salty goodness that have literally no stomach filling capabilities. Can we at least make it say 20 chips at 280 calories so that I can feel slightly less guilty about eating half the bag that says 20 servings?

I digress…


For Email Updates!