This Bar Is Not Your Drum Set

As I have progressed from spending each night in a bar to rarely visiting them, unless it is Monday and I hit up Timothy O’Tools for lunch for my half turkey sandwich with crispy French fries and side salad (it is like a two for one special, fries AND a salad…It’s like being good AND bad, but anyway…) with a Diet Coke, I can’t help but notice how annoying bars are when not drunk. Well, they are still annoying when drunk, but even more annoying when not.

You have the super loud person who has to talk 10 times louder than anyone else, you have the roaming douche-bag who tries to pick up anything that moves, you have the music that is so loud that you can’t even hear yourself talk. Music that never fits the clientele. There is the having to wait 20 minutes to get a drink or 30 to get a check. But after all that, you have the drummer person. The person who never quite made it as a rockstar.

I don’t know what type of bars you have been to, but if they are like the ones I have gone to, they consist of a very long wooden communal bar table thingie that is either strait or wraps around. The bar table thingie that all the people sitting at the bar use. The table thingie that holds all the bottles, all the glasses and is the place to rest your arms and hands. In other words, the bar.

Look, I am well aware that music is a powerful thing. Gloria Estefan has warned us all that the music is going to get you. But when you start keeping the beat using the bar as your personal drum set, everyone at the bar who has their hands or arms resting on the bar can feel it and some can even hear it. You are now annoying several people because you can’t control yourself.

Although, it kinda makes me want to slip a cyanide pill in your drink, that is not the worst because like I said, the music can get you (thanks Gloria). What I find even more annoying, is the person who just randomly has to tap on the bar with their knuckles or their phone. I want to tap on your forehead with your phone until you agree to never do this again…

The world is not made up of only you. Please respect other bar people.


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