Dear Slurping Straw Person, Just Let It Go…

There are few things in life that annoy me. Okay, that was a lie, let me rephrase. Although everything pretty much annoys me, there are certain things that are like nails on a chalkboard, things that are slowly transforming me into Howard Hughes. Not the billionaire who bought hotels, airlines and and produced movies. The Howard Hughes who ended up peeing in jars, and only eating soup from a can with tissues covering it, and super long fingernails.

One of the things that is making me go into a head-on collision with Howard Hughes’ slight eccentricism, is people who cannot let go of the fact that their liquid sipping experience has come to an end…

You have a glass or a paper cup that is filled with some type of liquid. You have ice and you have a straw. It is rather simple math. There is only so much liquid in the cup or glass. When you use the straw to suck up that liquid, what happens is that liquid then gets reduced in that glass or cup. And eventually you are just left with just enough liquid to make the most annoying sound ever that combines liquid and air.

Although I wish you would stop before getting to that point, I can understand that you are trying to get to the last of the liquid that was originally in the cup or glass. Now this is where it gets messy…..

You had the one courtesy annoying sound sip to alert you and EVERYONE ELSE that your drinking days for the original liquid were over, but you just had to KEEP on GOING…..

You had to wait for five minutes, while just enough ice melted so that you could make that sound AGAIN… And then you do it again and again.

DUDE, buy a new drink or come to terms that your liquid drinking days are over for that moment. You are annoying everyone else in the room so that you get that 1/8 of a tablespoon of watered-down liquid.

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