Honking Your Horn Should Give You An Electric Shock

There are times when honking a horn is useful. Perhaps the person in front of you is too busy taking a selfie to realize the light has changed. Maybe the person in the car next to you forgot that the lines in the road have a purpose and that they should stay on their side of the road. And perhaps someone is pulling out right in front of you and your intent is to have them not do that.

The problem is, there are several instances when honking your horn isn’t needed and all you are doing is just annoying everyone in a few block radius like people who may be relaxing in their homes, having a nice conversation while walking on the right side of the sidewalk, or perhaps enjoying a nice dinner with a friend on the outside patio of a restaurant. Your honking isn’t just you and the person you are honking at, it is you, the person you are honking at and everyone else who has to listen to that annoying loud sound.

Maybe if you had to endure a painful electric shock every time you used your horn, you would use it less. Only when absolutely necessary in fact. Let’s say that every time you had a beer or a French fry someone were to slap you really hard right in the face. Would you drink as much or eat French fries? Probably not, unless you belong to a fraternity.

Yes, there are reasons to honk, but there are plenty of reasons to not honk. You wouldn’t know that living in downtown Chicago like me.

You don’t have to honk to let someone know you are outside. You can CALL them. Phones have been invented for awhile.

If someone cuts you off, sure you can honk as an F.U., but you could also just flip them off and save the eardrums of others.

If someone hasn’t moved up right away in front of you, sure you could honk, but if you aren’t going to miss a light or if you have a few seconds before that could happen, maybe you could just wait a few seconds before honking?

Look, if people wouldn’t cut people off, if they wouldn’t be too busy taking a selfie instead of seeing the light change, if they would stay in their own lane instead of texting, if they would look before they pulled out, and if they would realize that if they don’t move up right away a car will just cut in front of them and make the line larger, if people didn’t do all of those annoying things that they do daily, there would be far fewer reasons to honk and I could actually enjoy a conversation outside. Being that people are selfish, ADD squirrel chasing self-indulgent asshole drivers, that isn’t likely to happen. But what could happen, is that you can limit your honking and let some of those idiot drivers have a pass, so that I can hear myself think, or at least attempt to on occasion.


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