The Idea Of “Faith” Eludes Me

Should I be posting this on this mostly sarcastic blog? Probably not. I am wonderful at doing the wrong things, so why stop now?

This isn’t meant to be sarcastic or blasphemous in any way. These are legitimate questions that I ask myself and answers I am still trying to find.

I am sure my religious mom who edits these posts is going to be thrilled…

“I’m actually spiritual not religious, man made religions frighten me.” -Mom

I really don’t understand the concept of having faith.

I hear things like “God has a plan.” Let’s say that is true for a second. If he does, is there really any assurance that his “plan” isn’t for me to get run over by a cab in the next five minutes? People get hit by cars, people have heart attacks, people get shot. If this logic exists, obviously those people would still be a part of his/her “plan”.

I also don’t understand why my “plan” would be different than someone else. What makes me so special?

It’s also a bit weird in certain circumstances to want to pray since it could be counter-productive for someone else. Let’s say I am praying to get a new client or job. Obviously someone would have to be at the losing end of that. Even if I pray for my own health, is there a quota for Heaven? If it is down to me and another person, if I pray harder do I get to stay longer here on earth?

I also don’t really understand the logic of God even having a plan for me. If everything was already mapped out, what am I even doing here? Is this some pre-recorded movie and I am on a flat-screen in Heaven? Is there popcorn? Based upon this “plan” notion, I feel like I should be able to technically do whatever I want and when I arrive at gates of Heaven, I could just say “I dunno, it was your plan dude.”

Lastly, when you have a billion people on earth who are in poverty and a lot without even drinking water. Does it make almost every prayer I have seem kinda ridiculous?

I understand the point of having people believe in a Heaven and Hell. I understand the point of giving people a tool called prayer. Without either one, we would have total anarchy. While not foolproof, the concept of going to Hell forever has most likely changed a lot of people’s minds from going the full on evil route.

I also understand the ideology with having a “plan” that people can hold on to. It allows people to be positive and makes things a bit easier day to day.

I just really don’t understand that if there is a “plan” for me, why it wouldn’t include me getting hit by a bus in five minutes. There is no logical reason to believe it wouldn’t. And why do I deserve the great fortune of not being hit by a bus when someone else might be? And what is the actual point of my being here if it was all mapped out? Am I a reality TV star in Heaven?


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